My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
