Please, let me fuck your mom
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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