I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
