So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
