so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
