TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
