he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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