just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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