I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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