i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
