What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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