Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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