We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
