What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
