You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
oh god the rape fog is back!
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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