I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
