so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
