you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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