He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
