I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
