I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
