I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize