why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
