Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
