The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize