Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
