Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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