just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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