Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
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I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
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You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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