Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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