i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize