One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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