Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
