After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
