the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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