I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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