Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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