Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
