i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
