Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
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When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
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My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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