I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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