are you so shy because you have an std?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I can't turn off my feet"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
