Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
