Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
