found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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