Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
