Please, let me fuck your mom
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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