It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
