I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
