Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
