there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Randomize
