So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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