I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
