Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
