I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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