I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
