You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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