Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
