Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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