This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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