why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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