sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
