what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Congratulations! We have a period
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
