they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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