He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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