The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
porn star boner night. come get it.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
