Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
